In Perspective?

Woe is me(and my wife).

I really shouldn't say that, because there are people in this world with real problems; famine, disease, poverty, bombs blowing up their social infrastructure, hemorrhoids etc...

Just indulge me this moment of self pity.

Woke up this moring to a smashed-in driver's side window of a Dodge Neon that my mother-in-law kindly lent us while our previously damaged car is getting fixed. To say the least, I am in a most foul mood - not the kind of mood that keeps me in a dark, T.V. lit room with empty pizza boxes, the uneaten crusts hard enough to cut glass, the complete Boulez catalogue looping over and over on my audio system - but the kind of mood that makes me volatile. Where just a casual sideways glance from a passerby might send me into a verbally violent tirade, capable of making the hardiest, insensitive factory worker fall to his knees and weep for redemption.

I must admit, it crossed my mind that this was an act of retaliation. But since I have no proof, I must assume that this was an act of random vandalism.

As a follow up to last week's auto accident, the young woman who caused the incident is now claiming that it wasn't her fault. Of course this is after she begged me not to file a police report(having no insurance and a suspended license), offered to pay for my damages on the spot with money earned by doing GOD KNOWS WHAT, openly admitted(as did both of her friends) that she was at fault, and threatened to thrust herself onto the freeway and commit suicide.

Apparently this young woman lost her previous car in the slew of flooding that took place out in Lake County a few weeks back. She then bought this other car and immediately cancelled the insurance policy after driving it off of the lot (why she did this, I can only speculate). Her "new" car has been deemed totaled, so suffice to say, she is in a very bad place - owing money on a car that's inoperable and probably facing some jail time for driving without insurance while under suspension - a very desparate situation indeed. As a fellow human being, I really do empathize with her situation. But that situation is the result of HER choices, not mine. Meanwhile, I will have no car for the forseeable future, and if and when it does get repaired, will probably be seriously flawed. We'll have to pay a deductible and our rates will go up. All because of someone else's irresponsibility.

Blah, blah, blah.

So I was thinking back on the past month. I have compiled a list of events that seem to suggest that my number in the cosmic bingo machine has come up:

1. I get surrounded by police 3 weeks ago while riding my bike in the pouring rain. I'm asked for identification, upon which one of the cops said to another, "no beard"...meaning: he's not the guy. Mistaken identity.

2. Our basement backs up with 3" of raw sewage, ruining 2 rugs, stinking up the joint and providing me with a weekends' worth of work bleaching and mopping fecal and urine debris.

3. The PC laptop that we use to do most of the mundane chores (my essay-grading job included) completely wigs out. It takes me two weeks to assess the situation, order the adapter that will allow me to port all of the important info to another computer, and get the whole thing up and running again. Cost(parts and lost wages)$200.

4. Irresponsible girl runs red light, which causes front-end damage and much ass-pain. Cost: yet to be determined.

5. Some cretin smashes my mother-in-law's window in while the car is on our watch. Cost:$165.00

Things are supposed to happen in 3s. Not 5s. I didn't even include getting pulled over for speeding, for which I unashamedly handed over my out-dated "courtesy" card, provided to me by my friend. Amount saved:$120.00. I'm viewing this as a break. Lucky me.


While my tendency is to view these series of events as a "doleful cloud" stubbornly following my every move, I was reminded by a friend that every one of these situations could have been worse. This is true. No one was hurt and most of the damage is purely financial. Money can be replaced. Not easily, but replaced never-the-less.

But I'm still gonna knock on mother-f*cking wood.