The Good Ole' Days

Being an adult is such a hassle.

Bills, money, house repairs, others' expectations, work, relationship issues, personal goals un-fullfilled...Never-ending always-somethings. Here's a verse from my current favorite song. It is called "Telling Stories" by Greg Brown:

Yesterday I was a boy running through the woods
My dog was my buddy, the wind was green and yellow
My dad called me to gather cedar branches
And soon we were sitting around the fire telling stories

Ah, the simple times. Tadpoles have it made. Once you lose that tail, all bets are off.

Blah, blah, bitch, bitch....

Glad to be here

20 years ago (Oct.12th) I earned a two-week vacation at this lovely hospital in the beautiful rural college town of Bowling Green, Ohio. Of all the auto accidents I've been in, this was by far the worst. My spleen met his match, as did my appendix, portions of my intestines and one of my ribs towards my back. In addition to my own injuries, my sister (2 years younger) sustained a compound fracture to her left femur that required the insertion of an 18" pin from her hip down through the femur bone. This was to remain for one year. She also had several lacerations above her eye.

My first 7 days after surgery were filled with the fog of morphine, several catheters(I pray that no one I know ever has to get one of these inserted while awake, I.Vs in both wrists, a couple of blood transfusions and a spectacular tube that travelled from my stomach, up my gullet, out of my nose and into a blender looking pump whose purpose in life was to suck the acid and bile from my stomach at regular intervals. This became incredibly uncomfortable after 6-7 days when my nose and throat became raw from the contact. Why would I need this? Due to my intestinal injuries, I could not eat for a whole week (ice chips only)...even so, the stomach continues to produce its toxic mix of lava, which by the way, looks like split-pea soup. If this is not removed, you will puke every hour or so. Not particularly pleasant when you've just been gutted like a deer. I have a 12 inch scar from my sternum to below my belly-button to prove it...not to mention a bunch of scar tissue that bothers me occaisionally...I also need to get a vaccine every five years to protect me from a certain pneumonia that would usually be defeated by the spleen.

It was a very scary experience for me, my sister and of course my folks, who had to helplessly sit and watch their two kids go through hell.

I had never been back there. I just sort of moved on with my life. But as the 20th anniversary approached, I started thinking that I might like to visit the place. My intention was to head over there on the actual day but a nasty case of bronchitis prevented me from going. So I rescheduled and went there last Tuesday:a dreary, grim, windy and rainy fall day.

When I first got to town, I was really second-guessing myself. It seemed like a morose, maudlin, unecessary waste of time, money and gas. Wasn't it enough to just think back on the moment and move on? But when I drove past the hospital, it really seemed like yesterday when I was getting(slowly) into my Uncle Gary's Lincoln Towne car(it was easier than climbing into my Dad's pick-up truck and well, my mother's car was mangled to holy hell, sitting in a junkyard contemplating its next life as a...toaster?...set of steak knives?...sink?). Incidentally, I was listening to NPRs Terry Gross interviewing the late Freddie Fender..."I'll be there, before the next...teardrop falls". I'm pretty sure that now I will always think of Wood County Hospital every time I hear that song. Go Pavlov!

The next stop was the actual spot of the accident. This occurred at the intersection of Rt.6 and Bowling Green Rd. I had to cross traffic from Bowling Green Rd. left onto Rt. 6. Traffic on this road travels from about 55 mph to 75mph. Here's a pic:




















I seem to remember looking left, looking right and then going...forgot to look left again. This was probably due to the fact that I was either:

a.)eating fast food
b.)telling a story
c.)fixing my hair in the mirror
d.)cueing up a kick-ass guitar solo by Matthias Jabs of the Scorpions on my tape player
e.)all of the above

We were very lucky that we didn't get hit by a semi-that would have done us all in...instead, the card we drew was a little Chevy Chevette going around 60mph. I was ticketed for failure to yield by a cop in the emergency room, while lying in a fetal position in excrutiating pain, puking blood, and getting all of my clothes cut away from my body in front of about a dozen people. As I had only just started college, I did know my social security number by heart when the cop asked me for it...

When I got to the spot, I pulled over so I could get a good look. I got out of the car and walked around a bit and took a few pics. Some of the area had been clear-cut and was now being farmed but other than that, it was exactly the way I remembered. At this point, I was really glad to have made the trip. It was a very odd sensation. A little bit of fear, nostalgia, and gratitude all mixed together. This was a place where I came really close to dying. I have often thought about that day and how in that moment of violence, I neither felt nor remembered anything. It always seemed like a comforting thought that in that brief instance of death (or near death) that there is no pain or suffering. As I got back in my car, I started thinking about all of the things I have done and seen since, the people I've met, the music I've made, the things I've learned, the hair I've lost; I couldn't help feeling like the luckiest person in the world.

Is this really possible?

There seems to be a lesson here.

The Amish folk are reaching out to the family of the guy who killed those girls. This is something rarely, if ever seen in modern community culture. While many of us claim to be Christians, most of us balance our grief with anger, blame and an overwhelming need to retaliate. Often, these events are followed by lawsuits against the surviving family members. A flawed sense of justice to be sure.

I cannot imagine the kind of grief those parents are dealing with, not to mention the burden of guilt, shame and sorrow that the killers' family must shoulder. The fact that these people immediately reached out to this family - before their dead were buried - is really heartening. It almost gives me faith in people. I'm not sure if I could do the same.

Check out the story.

Diminishing skills?

Just spent a really nice weekend in Dolly Sods Wilderness (West Virginia) backpacking/hiking/camping with the wife and hound. As far as Eastern landscape goes, this is a very special place topographically speaking. There are vast expanses of beautiful alpine-like meadows, mixed with precarious cliffs, beautiful streams, and large dense stands of hardwood and pine forests-reminiscent of areas much farther north. I have done a lot of outdoors exploring out west, and in some places the only thing missing is 14,000 craggy peaks looming in the background. But the openness...is very Western indeed. I'm a sucker for wide, spacious views. It reinforces my insignificance in the universe which is somewhat calming to me.

Anyway, a few thoughts.

I'm getting sloppy. I have always prided myself in my organization and attention to details. I'm a really good trip planner. Making lists, checking them twice, always thinking 'round corners. In other words, a control freak. While this trait has served me well at times, I sometimes think that it has made me into an uptight Piglet - type(See Pooh-Piglet Psychometric Profiler test).

Here's the thing though. The more I travel, the less I plan. I've sort of gotten over-confident in my ability to throw a trip together in a day. Plus, I'm a pretty skilled improvisor (my wife calls me "camping genius" for my ability to scheme my way through a tricky situation). When travelling to cities, this really isn't a big deal. If you forget something, you can always go buy it at some store. This can be expensive but not usually life threatening...unless you forget your $$$.

Because I think shame and embarassment are sometimes useful educational tools, I have compiled a list of items and tasks that I either forgot or just chose to ignore for reasons I have not yet identified.

1.)Matches/lighter.
This is fairly essential when camping in any season, let alone autumn, when temperatures go down to the low 40s or upper 30s. I always have a container of waterproof matches in my pack but these are hard to use and should really be saved for emergency situations. When I was going through my pre-trip checklist, I remember making a mental note to grab some on the way. Suffice to say, this "mental note" evaporated as quickly as it surfaced. I was about 100 feet onto the trail when I realized that I never tied up this loose end. The idea of using all of my waterproof matches to light the stove, start a much wanted campfire and still have some left over seemed like a very sketchy proposition, especially considering that I would need to strike them against some "found" surface. If you've ever tried this, you know that half of them break, fall apart, or just don't light. I like to gamble but not when it comes to warm food and campfires.

So what did I do? I walked the 100 feet back to the car to search for that phantom book of matches from under the car seat or in the glove box, that I knew weren't there. After finally giving up I was reduced to the most humiliating scenario of all...I had to ask someone for help. There was a group of folks getting ready to walk over to one of the very accessible lookout points just off the access road. One of them kindly gave me a lighter and assured me that she didn't need it. Humiliated and relieved at the same time, I sheepishly walked back to my pack, who were faithfully (foolishly!) waiting for me on the trail.

Strike one.

2.) Camera battery
This was not life threatening, but infuriating. I was really looking forward to taking some photos on this trip. Selfish, indulgent photos of all of the different flora blooming and dying at the same time. A multitude of textures:grasses, ferns, azaleas, old flowers, shrubs, trees - orange,red, green, brown, yellow and everything in between. Much wanted pictures of my dog getting to do the things that nature enabled her to do. Documents of our cozy, protected little camp nestled under a canopy of pines a short distance from a quiet, clear stream. The panoramic views, the undecisive weather, the bear scat filled with recently devoured blueberries, the pine trees windswept on one side only...

The problem with digital cameras is the damn battery. If it runs out of charge? No camera. No pictures. No documents. I meant to charge the battery the night before, which we spent in a Days Inn, Elkins W.V. Again, this minor detail slipped my slippery mind. I realized this gaffe when I pulled out the camera to take a picture of my wife (yes we carried the damn useless thing along for nothing)and the camera blandly instructed me to "change the battery". The first thing I thought was "yea, I'll change you alright...along side this here oak tree"...but I didn't. Just calmly put the thing back into (my wifes) pack.

Strike 2.

3.)Watch
Well, at this point I was really beating myself up. I don't usually wear a wristwatch(itchy and pulls my arm hairs), but I do have one that I use for working out/hiking etc...I also have a great fob type watch that attaches to any sort of loop (like a beltloop). Both of these were resting cozily at home on top of my dresser probably thinking what cosmic glitch in the assembly line landed them in the home of such an ignoramus.

I did bring my cell phone. Not because I wanted to chat with friends or check voicemail, but as an emergency backup. Incidentally, this has always been a conflict for me...I feel part of the excitement of staying outdoors is the risk factor. Cell phones sort of undermine that philosophy.

One small problem. No service. No service means no clock, which means a worthless conglomerate of cheap foreign parts that would travel at least 50-75 yards if I really wound up...

Actually, when we were on top of the highest ridge, I did get clear service. I refrained from checking voicemails but did sneak a look at the time. My internal clock was suprising accurate.

Foul ball. Still alive.

Boneheadedness aside, this trip was really great. The weather was drizzly and cold at night and early morning but seemed to always clear up when we were hiking. And none of my sillyness hurt us in any way. In fact, I may start camping without a watch from now on. After all, the only thing that's really important is having a general idea of the time. I don't have appointments to keep and I can always use the sun and my compass...hell, the Indians didn't have watches and they did just fine. And as much as I love taking pictures, sometimes it's a hassle messing around with the damn thing when you're in the midst of taking an ass-kicking from a mountain. Truth be told, with the exception of a few good takes, no picture can ever take the place of a clear memory, complete with sounds, smells and 3-dimensional space.

Then again, this could just be me trying to justify my exquisite failures.

***UPDATE***
I just charged the battery and I see that I did get one picture after all...the camera died promptly after.

In Perspective?

Woe is me(and my wife).

I really shouldn't say that, because there are people in this world with real problems; famine, disease, poverty, bombs blowing up their social infrastructure, hemorrhoids etc...

Just indulge me this moment of self pity.

Woke up this moring to a smashed-in driver's side window of a Dodge Neon that my mother-in-law kindly lent us while our previously damaged car is getting fixed. To say the least, I am in a most foul mood - not the kind of mood that keeps me in a dark, T.V. lit room with empty pizza boxes, the uneaten crusts hard enough to cut glass, the complete Boulez catalogue looping over and over on my audio system - but the kind of mood that makes me volatile. Where just a casual sideways glance from a passerby might send me into a verbally violent tirade, capable of making the hardiest, insensitive factory worker fall to his knees and weep for redemption.

I must admit, it crossed my mind that this was an act of retaliation. But since I have no proof, I must assume that this was an act of random vandalism.

As a follow up to last week's auto accident, the young woman who caused the incident is now claiming that it wasn't her fault. Of course this is after she begged me not to file a police report(having no insurance and a suspended license), offered to pay for my damages on the spot with money earned by doing GOD KNOWS WHAT, openly admitted(as did both of her friends) that she was at fault, and threatened to thrust herself onto the freeway and commit suicide.

Apparently this young woman lost her previous car in the slew of flooding that took place out in Lake County a few weeks back. She then bought this other car and immediately cancelled the insurance policy after driving it off of the lot (why she did this, I can only speculate). Her "new" car has been deemed totaled, so suffice to say, she is in a very bad place - owing money on a car that's inoperable and probably facing some jail time for driving without insurance while under suspension - a very desparate situation indeed. As a fellow human being, I really do empathize with her situation. But that situation is the result of HER choices, not mine. Meanwhile, I will have no car for the forseeable future, and if and when it does get repaired, will probably be seriously flawed. We'll have to pay a deductible and our rates will go up. All because of someone else's irresponsibility.

Blah, blah, blah.

So I was thinking back on the past month. I have compiled a list of events that seem to suggest that my number in the cosmic bingo machine has come up:

1. I get surrounded by police 3 weeks ago while riding my bike in the pouring rain. I'm asked for identification, upon which one of the cops said to another, "no beard"...meaning: he's not the guy. Mistaken identity.

2. Our basement backs up with 3" of raw sewage, ruining 2 rugs, stinking up the joint and providing me with a weekends' worth of work bleaching and mopping fecal and urine debris.

3. The PC laptop that we use to do most of the mundane chores (my essay-grading job included) completely wigs out. It takes me two weeks to assess the situation, order the adapter that will allow me to port all of the important info to another computer, and get the whole thing up and running again. Cost(parts and lost wages)$200.

4. Irresponsible girl runs red light, which causes front-end damage and much ass-pain. Cost: yet to be determined.

5. Some cretin smashes my mother-in-law's window in while the car is on our watch. Cost:$165.00

Things are supposed to happen in 3s. Not 5s. I didn't even include getting pulled over for speeding, for which I unashamedly handed over my out-dated "courtesy" card, provided to me by my friend. Amount saved:$120.00. I'm viewing this as a break. Lucky me.


While my tendency is to view these series of events as a "doleful cloud" stubbornly following my every move, I was reminded by a friend that every one of these situations could have been worse. This is true. No one was hurt and most of the damage is purely financial. Money can be replaced. Not easily, but replaced never-the-less.

But I'm still gonna knock on mother-f*cking wood.

Fool Moon

Another auto accident.

This has become such a prominent theme throughout my driving life, that it almost warrants rigorous scientific study. It's become a sort of routine with me, that I would miss if discontinued.

Here's the scene:

I'm coming home late from a visit with an out-of-town friend. It's about 3am, a pleasant, cool and quiet summer evening. The kind of night that you think about in the middle of winter. I'm sort of hungry. Not ravenous, but hungry enough to have a roving eye for some late night, improper dietary choice that will most assuredly leave me feeling thick, acidic and disappointed by my lack of self-discipline. But nevertheless, there I was looking for that magical place between fast food and a sit-down diner (I'm thinking all-night gas station/mini-mart). This is important because it altered my usual route home, which would normally have been the empty freeway.

So, I'm cruising along on one of those roads that parallel the freeway, eventually morphing into an entrance ramp. As usual, this road is named "Marginal" for its relationship to the much more prominent highway. On the radio is "Coast to Coast", where there is an interesting discussion about how full moons affect human behavior (last night was a full moon, in case you didn't know).

I'm not kidding about this.

As I passed through the green-light intersection of W. 100th and N. Marginal, a green sedan suddenly appeared in front of my car. Unlike other right angle accidents that I have been involved in, I was denied a sufficient glance at the driver's face in the moment just before impact. This is a splendid moment; the expression of fear competing with surprise is both horrifying and comical. Had I been able to see my own face, it would have had an expression that said:

Oh man, not again. What have I done to deserve this kind of misfortune? Did I mistreat someone with supernatural powers? Do I really have any control over my life? How much will this cost me? Will it hurt? I'm really glad my beloved dog is not in the car, only to become a 45lb projectile. Is there a child in that other car? Is there some greater cosmic cause for which I am but a spoke in the wheel?

Anyway, I tried to stop but it was futile and so I braced for impact.

PAAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My car stalled, smack dab in the middle of the intersection, the lights and radio proceeding on with their previously assigned duties. The other car stopped and turned around, resting to an uncomfortable stop with the rear driver-side wheel up on the curb. The first thing I did was try to move my arms and legs to see if there was any damage. Satisfied with my findings, I tried to get out of the car but...oops, that door doesn't work anymore. Front-end damage compression. At this point three young ladies get out of the other car, frantic, one of them asking if I'm OK and another asking if I'm going to shoot them. I assured them that I was OK and didn't have a gun.

Once I finally got out of the car, the girls were upon me, the driver frantically begging me not to call the police because she didn't have insurance, and was driving with a suspended license and would surely go to jail. They were strippers the one assured me, and could pay me on the spot for any damage to my car.

Thank Gawd!

Now I don't want to seem mean and misogynistic, but over the years I've made my way to a few strip bars. By the looks of these gals, I VERY MUCH DOUBT that they had enough money on them collectively to pay for the work my car is going to need. My guess is that they worked in one of those small local beer joints that also have dancin' girls, mostly frequented by working class folks and the occasional suburban college kid who feels a lack of authenticity and is into slummin'.

I know this, cuz that was me 15 years ago...

Anyway, I immediately took charge of the situation and said, "I'm really sorry but I've been through this several times before, and it's really best to make the 911 call"-of the many good reasons to do this, getting stuck with false information was foremost on my mind. This of course sent this young woman into "dramatic arrest" loudly proclaiming that she was going to walk up to the freeway and kill herself.

Awe Jesus.

Regardless, I made the call. There was some confusion on the dispatcher's part as to my exact location. There was no W.100th and N. Marginal on her map. I assured her that it really did exist and that I was literally standing under the mother-f*cking sign.

While I was making this call (and a few back and forths with my wife), one of the girls (cute, but in that trashy sort of way that suggests a bountiful history of drinking, smoking, too much T.V., lazy upbringing and a general dysfunctional environment) kept coming up to me, trying to sweet talk me and get me to change my mind. At one point she actually asked me what my sign was. I gather that this girl is used to getting her way with boys, acting friendly, helpless and harmless in order to manipulate weak, attention-starved men. This kind of behavior has always had a completely opposite effect on me. Almost violently. I could feel my blood start to boil. The cops still had not shown up, I'm standing in the middle of a g*ddamn intersection with my car emitting a very strong acrid odor, the driver won't shut up about her desperate situation, and this annoying little girl is asking me all kinds of stupid banal questions. I really thought I might start making bad choices.

Thank God, my wife kept calling to check up on me. This calmed me down and focused my attention on the task at hand, which was getting the cops to show up. Apparently, this was an "uncommonly busy Wednesday evening".

When they did get there (about 45 minutes later), they were very cool and handled the situation in a very professional manner. Considering this was Cleveland, they probably viewed this as a "break in the action". After I gave them all of the important information, they said if my car was operable, I could go. While the car started and was reasonably functional, there was definitely something "critically erroneous" going on under the hood. I'll be interested to find out what sort of internal damage was done. If you've ever had a car with front-end collision damage, you know that they are never the same again. Things get move a few centimeters out of alignment and it becomes a domino effect.

Thankfully, nobody was seriously injured. That would have been a very bad scene indeed. There were no kids or loose pets in the car. Just three silly young girls who might learn something from this...but probably not.


Morale of the story:

Don't make bad dietary decisions when there is a full moon.

p.s. I never did get anything to eat...went to bed hungry and pissed.

From here to there

I've been experimenting with a new personal policy this summer. When doing business in Lakewood (i.e., getting take-out, going to the gym, going to coffehouses/bars, the bank etc...), I will either walk, ride my bike, or take a bus. Mostly I've been riding my bike as it offers the best combination of speed, convenience and cost. It is truly the last means of transportation that's on the human scale before we submit our asses, feet and vertebrae to an unfair amount of inactivity and compression.
Of course there are times when I still use the Car, but I'm really trying hard to stick to this.

Let me make this clear: This is not a ploy for self-aggrandizement(maybe just a little), nor is it meant as a subvertive way of preaching to others how they should live their lives. It is simply something I am doing for myself, for the following reasons:

1. It's great exercise. In addition to working out, I can burn several hundred extra calories per week just doing things I would do anyway.

2. It saves money on gasoline. This one is obvious. While I'm not driving hundreds of miles a week around Lakewood, it really does add up. And it just seems so damn lazy to sit on my ass in my car just to go down the street and get a movie or a beer.

3. It's clean. I don't create any emmissions, wear down the surface of the street, which always seems to need repairing. Riding a bike and walking has a very small footprint. Unless you're one of those piggish inbreeds who insist on throwing their garbage all over the sidewalk/street(this is another blog entirely).

4. There is something incredibly satisfying about earning your way. Even though I sometimes feel a little sweaty by the time I get to where I'm going, it doesn't take long to dry and I feel like I've earned my latte.

5. You see and experience WAY more. In a densely layered community like Lakewood, you really don't see much when you're driving through at 35mph(which is way too mother-f*cking fast down the side streets!!!!!!!). When you drive, it's all about getting from one point to another. Your eyes are focused on waypoints that are much farther apart. When walking or riding, I can ride down the same street every day and notice something different. Since I like looking at houses and shops, this is very appealing to me. In fact, slowing people down is crucial in areas like this because the small scale of the shops require foot traffic(or bike) which creates an intimate public space. Lakewood's streets should be about getting people in and around Lakewood instead of getting them through.

Of course every mountain has its valley.

Cars are generally oblivious to bikes on the street. I prefer riding in the street to the sidewalks(the word "walk" here should be a clue). Pedestrians, pets etc... are much safer without bicycles flying past them. But I have had a few close calls. Usually it's a matter of drivers just not seeing me, but sometimes people get impatient and will just blow past you. The key here is to follow traffic rules. Without fail. Looking out for yourself is the best defense. Of course a bike lane with a clear physical divider would solve most of these issues. But it seems that Lakewood is more content with installing pretty flower pots along its major business district. Awesome.

The roads in Lakewood are terrible. You actually need a mountain bike so that you don't bend your rims or blow out a tire. I would rather the city fix the roads then come into my backyard and get my garbage. I could take it to the treelawn like everyone else in America.

Of course there's always the ubiquitous grease on the inside of your calf. But what the hell, I'm a big fan of physical evidence.

At first, it seemed a little inconvenient. It takes a little bit longer to do some things. But only a little. I have found that your sense of time begins to adjust, and you don't notice the difference anymore.

For example:
To rent a DVD, I have about a 3 minute drive to go in a car(if I have to find parking, even longer). On my bike, about 5-6 minutes. This includes getting the bike out of the basement, the ride itself and locking it up. Not a big deal. Probably about 50-60 calories burned. My internal clock now is adjusted to this time and so when I want to go get a movie, I know it will take me "5-6 minutes".

I will be bummed out when it gets too cold and sloppy to ride. I'll have to walk and re-adjust my internal clock again. I certainly won't be able to count on the crummy public transportation in this town(a full review of the RTA is coming soon...)

In the meantime, if you have a bike, get the old gal out and put her to work...that's what she's fer.

Go away sun

Where are all the quiet, grey, cool, drizzly days? All this sun and heat is interfering with my grouchiness...and that annoys me.

You get what you pay for.

Well, it's happened again. I've gone to visit another great city and come home depressed. This time Toronto. I was there about 15 years ago when I was a clueless young man, so while my impressions were valid, my perspectives were pretty limited. The things that impressed me then: the abundance of people who were out and about at 3am, the interesting night clubs and strip clubs, Chinatown, the subway (which we rode once) and the high quality of prostitutes,who seemed to be everywhere(I'll go on record as saying "I did not have sex with those women").

Since then, I have been to NYC several times, San Francisco, Montreal, Chicago, New Orleans(pre-Katrina) Philadelphia, Mexico City and several other medium-size cities. In other words, my standards for big cities are fairly specific and refined. I know what I'm looking for and I think can quickly identify whether or not the place is happening. Here are my criteria for great large cities (not in any particular order):

1. Public Transportation. This is absolutely crucial for any city of reasonable size. A good, healthy city has different neighborhoods that pan out in all directions from the central business district, each with something particular to offer. For example, in Toronto, Queen Street West has a large portion of designer shopping closer to the downtown business district. As you move west, the vibe becomes more bohemian and this is where many of the city's art galleries are located. Other sections of the city have particular architectual qualities, for instance Cabbagetown has according to the Cabbagetown Preservation Association "the largest continuous area of preserved Victorian housing in North America". These two areas are on opposite sides of the city so while walking is possible, public transportation allows for easy and quick commuting between these areas for work, fun, or shopping.
Toronto has a phenomenal public transport system. An easy-to-understand combination of subway, streetcar and bus lines can get you just about anywhere. The subways run until 2am and the streetcars and buses run 24 hrs. My wife and I stayed on the upper east end of the city but were able to go anywhere we wanted for dinner/music/shopping without ever getting into our car or walking ourselves ragged.

Here's a pic I found on a web resource:


Notice how narrow the cars are, allowing streetcars to pass in both directions while still allowing for automobile traffic.

Quality transportation also provides better access to different parts of a city to those who cannot afford(or choose not)to own a car. By contrast, Cleveland's public transportation system is inept, limited and aesthetically unappealing. It is managed for the least common denominator-i.e. those who have no choice but to use it, creating a system with very little accountability towards making wholesale improvements.

2. Walkability. It goes without saying, that any city worth a damn living in has amenities within a few minutes walk. I read a study that stated that most people are willing to walk 5 minutes in any direction to get what they need, after that they will drive or take public transport. By contrast, how many of you in Cleveland can walk 5 minutes from your house to buy a pair of jeans, shoes, eat dinner, rent a DVD, get money at an ATM, get drunk, hear a band etc...Living in Lakewood, Little Italy, Coventry, and small slivers of Cleveland (Ohio City, Tremont, warehouse district) are about it and all of these areas have serious limitations.

3. Diversity. Toronto is considered one of the world's most ethnically diverse cities ranking ahead of L.A., Vancouver, New York, Singapore and Sydney. Along with this diversity comes the many different styles of music, art, food, clothing, etc...The interesting thing about Toronto, is that there seems to be relatively little friction between these different people and cultures.

4. Economy. This is obvious. Every city needs to have some way of generating income other than taxing the hell out of its dwindling population(I'm fine with paying taxes as long as I can see production and progress). Toronto is a major commercial, distribution, financial and industrial center. Toronto and the surrounding areas produce more than half of the country's manufactured goods. Ontario's wealth of raw material and hydroelectric power made the city a primary center of industry. We all know how that's going in Cleveland. What made the city great-and it was great- was its role as a producer and manufacturer of goods. Now most of those jobs are in other countries. Make no mistake, stuff is still being manufactured....just not here.

5. Education. Toronto has several post-secondary educational institutions, providing the city with a constant flow of young minds, many of whom stay there after attaining their degrees. Cleveland's public school system has been an embarrassment for more than 30 years. Why would anyone with a family want to live there unless they could afford to send their kids to private school? But then again, since property taxes pay for most of our public schools, it stands to reason that poor neighborhoods have bad schools. They don't have any money. So where does it end?

6. General Cleanliness. While cities will always have issues with litter and pollution, a lot can be done to keep things reasonable. Toronto is remarkably clean compared to other large cities. Sections of NYC are flat out depressing...most of the subways look every bit of their 100+ years. Now I like grafitti art, but not on every damn building, bridge, wall, car, sidewalk...Toronto also has a nice waste system on every corner with separate containers for bottles, cans etc... People actually seem to use them as I saw very little garbage on the street. Cleveland on the other hand is filthy, even in its most publicly inhabited areas. The city is just poorly organized in dealing with this.

Now, I know this seems like a Toronto love fest...give me a break, I just got back yesterday...but it really is amazing how different this town is from Cleveland- a sister Great Lakes town just a shade over 5 hours away, with the same weather system, and many of the same resources. In fact, Cleveland sold some of its abandoned streetcars to Toronto back in the 1950s...oops.

On the down-side, the TTC(Toronto Transit Commission) abruptly went on strike 1 hour after we came home from our night out on Sunday(yes folks, I said Sunday...food, music and spirits late on Sunday). Apparently, the workers want safer conditions regarding their accessibility to riders(there is no separate partition for operators from the occasional nut who freaks out on the streetcar). This sounds reasonable, but striking really hurts the average person just trying to get to work. This rarely happens however, and has already been resolved, with service back up by the day's commute home.

here's a link to the story

The perception of a city that's interesting, vibrant, diverse and livable is totally dependant on these (and other) qualities. While all cities have problems and new challenges to face, proper planning as well as a higher expectation of its inhabitants is crucial to making an urban area healthy and appealing. Accepting low quality leadership, un-progressive urban planning, disregard for historical buildings, economic segregation and general apathy towards your city is a loser mentality. Even if you don't live in the city, thinking regionally is the way of the future and that responsibility lies squarely on the shoulders of a city's people.

*some facts and figures from wikipedia

Ladies and Gentlemen...

So, the Mrs. and I are currently on a little Great Lakes voyage. First a few days in Niagara Falls and then three days in Toronto. Before we got married, we had a little budding tradition of going to Canada for Memorial weekend. Since Canada's big "kick-off" to summer holiday (Victoria Day) is the week before, Memorial Day in Canada is just a not-so-special late spring weekend...i.e. no obnoxious, drunken crowds to piss me off. This is particularly important when camping. There is nothing more assaulting to the senses than some drunken cracker singing Pink Floyd songs at the campfire next to you. Thou shall not committ murder...unless someone sings loudly and ignorantly out-of-key.

Anyway, Niagara Falls has long since been regarded as a thick blanket of tourist cheese, shamelessly covering the falls and upper Niagara river region with casinos, over-priced hotels, theme restaurants, junk shops and of course...wax museums. It certainly has all of these things.

Now I'll admit: I like to gamble a bit. Not much, but just a little. I like to sit at a video poker machine and piss around with $20 or so. I can't really afford to do this but I figure a little won't hurt and the unlikely chance that I could win a few dollars and pay off some bills is just too irresistable. Just for judgement backup, I have never done this without my wife sitting next to me. I just don't trust myself to know when it's time to back away. Cleveland has been talking about legalizing gambling, arguing that the money generated would be a much-needed windfall to the city. It seems to me this is really an issue of short-term vs. long-term. In my experience, the casinos that exist in non-tourist towns(like Cleveland)are mostly full of working-class people gambling with money they don't have. Places like Niagara, Vegas and the like have resources other than gambling to attract people. You'll still see local folks that got the "feva" but you'll also see a lot of recreational players (i.e. people who either choose their destination based on gambling or are just passing through and having a little fun...like me). Let me say this: The last thing that Cleveland (an old, depressed steeltown that's been steadily losing jobs for years) needs, is a bunch of second-rate casinos to suck up money that isn't there.

So, back to the Falls. Chintzyness aside the Falls are truly stunning. I've been up here three times in my life and they seem amazing every time. The energy harnessed from the falls(more than 6 million cubic feet of water falls over the crestline every minute) is used to power much of the area. The diversion of water to hydroelectric plants also serves to slow the erosion of the falls, which up until the modern era was receding 2-10 feet per year. Now, the question certainly needs to be asked if meddling with the geologic process will cause adverse effects on other parts of the local ecosystem...I mean the real reason to slow the rate of erosion is purely economic...who would go to the casinos if the falls weren't there? Either way, the falls will eventually reach Lake Erie and drain it completely-the bottom of Lake Erie is higher than the bottom of the falls.

So in the meantime, go and check it out. The promenade following the gorge along the Canadian side is really nice. The hotel developers have been prevented from building along the edge and blocking the view from everyone except hotel guests(have you been to Clearwater, Florida?)and it's beautifully landscaped and views of the American Falls as well as the Horeshoe Falls are accessible the entire way.

Here's a picture of me at Cave of the Winds on the American side. Basically, you take an elevator down about 175 feet, then walk across some wood decking up to the base of the Bridal Falls(between the Horseshoe and American Falls). This is the smallest of the three falls-about 1% of the water passing over-and it is still so powerful that the park has to rip all the decking out and replace it every year.

(Click for closeup)

















Posing in front of the Horseshoe Falls:
















If you get a chance, pay the $14 and ride The Maid of the Mist, a boat ride that takes you about as close as possible to the falls. Totally amazing! During the ride up river towards the falls, there was a pre-recorded narration with various facts and figures. As soon as we got up to the falls and were absolutely getting blasted with mist, the narrator paused and then with heroic Charlton Heston-like melodrama announced:

Ladies and gentlemen...this......is Niagara Falls!

Ah...the pungent smell of hoke.

Next, Toronto...

April showers bring a busy month of May

Lots of stuff going on. I have a 20-year high school reunion coming up. This sounds like a drag but it's not. My school was small(about 75 graduated in my class) and it was all male. Now, this may also sound like a drag but quite the contrary. Imagine a 4-year camping trip with a bunch of your friends. That pretty much sums up my high school years. In any event, I am one of the guys planning the thing and I started a "reunion blog" back in January, so most of my blogging has been happening at that locale. If for some unknown and strange reason you would like to see this blog, go here:

www.c-high86.blogspot.com

This little project has been a blast. I've been able to reconnect with several "old" friends. Many more to come...

I'm also working on a composition for the Cleveland Institute of Art's graduation ceremony. I've had to change my idea a few times due to technical restrictions, but I think things are moving a long nicely. Two of the second year students have built "instruments", both of which I need to integrate into the piece. This is sort of difficult because they seem to be conceived mostly as "interesting objects" rather than practical instruments. But I'll try....:)

I'm also doing a show with trumpet player John Keugelar and tabla player Joe Culley. I will be performing on guitar and electronics. I'll post more info when I get it.

Thanks

My friend Randi tells me that she has received some donations from Ohio for her leukemia marathon (see previous post). If any of these are from people I know, Randi and myself thank you greatly for your generosity! If you have not donated and would like to, you still can...follow the link.

ars

A very good thing.

My friend Randi from Portland, Oregon is running a marathon to raise $$$ for leukemia research and she is a little below her financial goals. If you or someone you know has been affected by this disease, please take a moment to make a donation. You can do it online(go to the link below), it's quick and it's tax deductible. The money raised really goes to fund research which is desperately needed. I know some of you are hesitant to give $$$ to people you don't know but this is legit. She's putting a lot of effort into this and I want to help her out.


randi's site

ars

St. Drunkard's Day

So I went downtown for St. Patrick's day yesterday. It is amazing (and somewhat frightening) to see so many drunken folks in such high concentration. Most of the people seem to be of early to late college age. In other words, tadpoles. Man, I wouldn't go back to that time of my life for anything...except maybe my 6-pack abs. You know the scene: lots of staggering, over-eating, yelling-for-no-apparent reason, ridiculously dressed 21 year-olds. Anyway, I generally find the scene amusing on some level. It's sort of like standing at the brink of a raging river: you are compelled to jump in but logic tells you that instant death awaits. The most interesting part of the day was the ride downtown on the RAPID. It was heartening (even for just a day) to see so many folks using public transportation. It was almost as if I was living in a real, living and breathing city. Maybe a few of those people will think that the experience was cool (and convenient) and keep using the trains.

Probably not though...

What do our burning fields smell like?

I was talking to someone from Detroit last week, and we were discussing the similarities of our sister Great Lakes Cities(Cleveland). Both of them were once proud, progressive towns offering many opportunities to its inhabitants. In my opinion, the decline of the Great Lake Cities is a huge disgrace. This is a crucial region...we've practically built the country through our steel factories, auto plants and manufacturing plants. We have most of the fresh water (the largest collection of fresh water lakes in the world) We don't have a lot of natural disasters and the climate is reasonable(I know people like to bitch about the winters but try living in North Dakota...)

Often, when large cities get abandoned, the property values plummet which opens up the area to artists and other entrepreneurial types, who take advantage of the space/cost ratio. This often leads to a "scene" that springs up out of the ashes, which then becomes gentrified by those who have money and are now willing to live there. When this happens, the artists can no longer afford to live there and move on to the next squalid neighborhood...kind of like carpet-bagging...so it goes. This is generally a good thing. So the question is; is this happening enough in Cleveland and its' surrounding inner-ring suburbs? We know that many of the abandoned warehouses in certain areas have been rehabbed for residential use but these are mostly unaffordable to the average person. What is needed is more downtown affordable housing. It's the only way to get ordinary people to live in the city. And that's what makes good cities great:a population with economic diversity.

If we've hit rock bottom, what's the best way to get back up? We know from our recent past that building big ticket items is only a small temporary solution. If you burn the fields is it guaranteed that the next crop is better?

The Musk Ox

The human race is amazing. We are such gluttons for doom. And violent. When we can't get along, we fight and kill each other instead of using our most dominant attribute-our intelligence. We spend trillions of dollars making things that kill people, we eat/engineer food that's horrible for us, we watch and listen to stupid entertainment that rots our brains, we make most of our choices based on our own personal convenience regardless of the impact on others and our environment, we pump ourselves full of drugs for every little physical ailment even when some of these things can be solved by simply making better choices...etc...

To top it all off, we spend most of our lives preparing for our destiny after we die. I'm not here to debate the existence of Gods and the afterlife-there are much wiser folks than me to do that. But so many people forget about the simple beauty of being alive: looking into someone's eyes, petting an animal, watching a baby laugh, eating delicious food, being in love, listening to music, playing sports, taking a photogragh, telling stories... just watching the world pass by. So much suffering, confusion, cruelty, fear, pain, injustice...it's enough to make someone go nuts with frustration.

We are just barely in control. The earth and the universe are "alive and well and living in"...think of the planet as a Musk Ox...when there are too many flies, it simply shakes it's ass and gets rid of some of them.





Au revoir!

Driving like an A-hole

Driving a car brings out the worst in most people. How many people would go up to someone's face, give them the digit, and loudly cuss them out? A confrontation like that would usually be reserved for the most insidious circumstances. Yet on the road, this happens so often, easily and seemingly unprovoked, that it has almost become the conventional way of communicating while operating heavy machinery. As a comparison, let's try and correlate two similar circumstances; one on the road and one on the sidewalk.

The Bully Tactic

Let's say your walking down a crowded sidewalk (any busy city street will serve as a good example). The person in front of you is moving much slower than you(maybe they're old, in bad shape, not in a hurry, looking for something -or maybe they're just a weenie)...but you're stuck behind them until you get a chance to pass. A mature, normally-adjusted person would probably keep a reasonable distance, mutter their frustration under their breath, and wait for a suitable opportunity to get around. An impatient, arrogant, angry bully-type would hover too close, huff and puff out loud, try and push the person to go faster even though they could just wait and go around them. If really annoyed, this person may even say something when they do get around. This person is a jack-ass. Unequivocally.

Luckily, most reasonable people don't act in this fashion...except in cars. Normal, friendly, well-adjusted people reduce themselves to acting like mad children once they get behind the wheel of a car. It's not out of the ordinary for someone to speed up and ride someone's ass when they can just pass them. This is especially shabby when someone is driving in the right lane....THAT'S WHAT IT'S FOR. And it's just as customary to pass someone (with a raging fury), give them the finger, scowl menacingly and mouth numerous obscenities as they soar past. I have done this myself. And almost always (except when someone is yappin' on their phone) I feel like a heel afterwards.

I would never treat someone that way face-to-face. But in a car, we are not held accountable for our behavior towards other people. We don't really have to look them in the eye and say f*ck you...it's so much easier to vilify someone when they are an abstract operator of a machine.

I'm no driving guru. Anyone who has known me for any significant amount of time knows this. But is it too much to ask for people to chill out while driving a two-ton vehicle? It may be an impossible task but I think it's worth considering.

Facial Hair II

Some of you may remember my post about 4 months back lamenting the accidental loss of my beloved facial hair. Since then, with the exception of my neck and a little trimming here and there,(who the hell can stand hair on their neck?)my countenance has been spared the humiliating process of shaving. What has transpired is quite impressive in my estimation. I must admit however, I'm somewhat surprised at the amount of silver that showed up...while I know it makes me look much older, I'm sort of into the mountain-man look....and my wife thinks it's a sign of manliness. One of my students said that I look like I should have a raccoon on my shoulder...now that sounds like a cool look.

Check it out:

Something to consider...

"The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on."

-Joseph Heller (author of Catch 22)

Hostel

I saw the movie Hostel last week with my buddy Dave. If your wondering why, my only answer is that I suppose I possess a deviant trait that encourages my 3rd party participation in grotesque/shocking behaviors...and Dave is the only one I thought would share in this recidivism. We used to joke about torture contraptions and painful processes that would be conducted upon the most aberrent of criminals...Of course these "experiments" were always imagined in casual conversation: over eggs at 3am, bike rides or road trips - and always conceived in a "white lab-coat, bespectacled, beyond the plexi-glass wall sort of setting"...as if something important were taking place. This was all for our own dark amusement of course, so we figured this movie would be an articulated version of these inside jokes.

It was certainly articulated. But in a gritty, euro-medieval, blood-dried-in-the-cracks-of-stone sort of way. It was very disturbing.

While travelling across Europe, two Americans end up in a Slovakian hostel reported to have the most beautiful, eager young women in Europe. The hostel turns out to be a sort of "specimen" holding pen for an organization that offers an "opportunity" (to any one who can afford it) for its' sadistic customers to torture/kill their subjects in any fashion they please. Most of them choose "personal" techniques ...power tools, hand tools, cutting, twisting, prying, mind games etc...

What makes the movie disturbing is not the gore-this has unfortunately become ubiquitous in movie culture-it's the way it's filmed and the way it's set up. The film is gritty and dark, often viewed from the victim's point of view, with things often just out of focus or implied. And the setting of a not-so-prosperous central-european city is very eerie. Adding to the creep value is the fact that many of the central characters are set up by sexy, young, beautiful women who are getting paid for their snaring prowess. Thinking how I was in my early 20s, it's pretty easy to imagine getting tricked with pretty girls, booze and partying only to get carved up like a Chritmas ham.

Anyway, Dave and were both pretty disturbed (in a satisfied sort of way...) afterwards. Both of us pretty speechless, just kind of reiterating what we saw and then going home. As a film, it has it's flaws, but as an idea it's an effective premise for a horror story.

Anyway, dreams were strange that night.

Heavy Metal Roots

I've been revisiting some music that was very influential on me in my "youth". While much of this music doesn't hold up too well (I'm thinking of some of the 80s metal bands that I liked), some of it sounds better to me now. During a recent binge, I bought a digitally remastered "Rage for Order" by Queensryche. I was very much into this music back in the mid to late 80s. As far as metal goes, this record is really a waypoint. Incorporating a lot of (then) current music technology (i.e. samplers, drum programming, and sequencing) the record has a very terminator-like view of the future: Machines taking over, public and political chaos, remorse for culture lost, and prophet-like crys for change.

The things I liked about the music back then was the great production, the adventurous, creative song-writing which succeeds without becoming too self-indulgent and boring..and of course the great guitar-playing. I really wasn't that interested in lyrics, seeing them mostly as a vehicle for melody. Listening to this record 20 years later, all of these things hold up well. In addition, the lyrics are still interesting.

Check out this verse and chorus from "Chemical Youth":


LEAD ME- the leftist cry as the right subsides

HEAR ME- the media mouth is open wide

SAVE ME- success is our hunger we need to feed

FREE ME- we will not lose to their anarchy!

We are your leaders-
we are rebellion!
aural supremists

we are rebellion!
we are future!

It's also interesting how much the aesthetic of rock singing has changed. Back then, operatic-like singing (particularly tenor range) was all the rage...pun intended. For the last 15 yrs or so, the trend in male rock vocals has been lower-pitched voices with a much more limited vocal range and more emphasis on grit. There are obvious exceptions. I'm thinking here of Jeff Buckley and jónsi of Sigur Ros....tenors for sure.

Anyway, as much as I love Rage for Order, the way the band looked during this phase of their career is unforgivable. Shameless posers! Even for all of my bad, cheesy fashion choices, I remember thinking they looked ridiculous. Good Lord!

Bad Time Management

I've been amazingly slothful in keeping up with this blog. The holiday season always forces me into hibernation, anti-social behavior and inertia. It's certainly not for lack of subject matter. I've been actively ruminating on a number of topics ranging from local/regional development issues, music and art, movie reviews and political observations.

Meanwhile, I start back to teaching this week. This semester I'll be there four days a week. I'm always conflicted about teaching. On one hand, I enjoy meeting a new batch of students, setting up the semester's ideals and getting into a more structural schedule. On the other hand, I hate getting up early in the morning(class starts at 8am on Tuesday and Thursday), sitting in my steel egg for 45 minutes(each way), road wrastling with a bunch of other cranky highway slaves, and basically not being able to do as much other work (i.e. making music, getting more involved in helping my town become a better place, fixing my house and having political polemics with my friends:)

Anyway, I'm not really complaining. I have more time than most folks, and I spend most of it doing things I enjoy. But driving all over N.E. Ohio for the most mundane of activities like work, shopping, errands etc... seems like such a waste of time. I'd rather sit on a train or streetcar where I could be productive. I think it's too much to ask of most folks to have to operate heavy machinery for a large part of their day. People work hard. They get tired. Inevitably, concentration drifts, tempers flare, and critters unpredictably(at least it seems that way to us)dart out in front of our vehicles to scare the hell out of us. Trying to juggle putting on makeup, shaving, talking on our damn cell phones, tweaking knobs on our audio devices, pounding coffee(this activity should be savored) and slobbering down some cheap, inferior, irresponsibly prepared ration just seems unfair and frankly, to be a flawed way of life. I mean, people get paid a lot of money to operate machinery. Why should we have to do it? Driving should be reserved for those moments of leisure, like traveling, or for those situations when transporting heavy/bulky goods prohibit carrying them long distances. Much more on this later...